17.8.09 4.46am

最近不知怎么的。
越来越觉得我们疏远了很多。
甚至不明白为何你还要我等。
如果，你真的有新的对像还是你已有暧昧对象。
只要你坦白，我会自己消失。
只要你告诉我。
我很累了。只想听你的真心话。
我爱你。

14.8.09

Hmm..lately im getting moody.
Somethings was getting weird.
Felt like between us was getting further and further.
Where have u gone for the moment ?
U said that u will come back to me.
But,u making me felt that u are getting away from me.
Is't u have too much pressure on your studies ?
Or .. u found some one else that is better ?
2 more month ..
I was counting everyday.
I wonder,When it comes .
U will be here!Or,somewhere else with another guy.
I'm struggle and i'm swear. I did every moment.
Hmmm.. I wish u can give me and answer Honestly.
What u possible need it as..
Hmmm..I'm waiting for your answer.

To my love . S

21/7 Ends.

Finally u said that again.
Maybe we really not suitable to be continue like this.
I Love You , Forever.

28/6 Hazer Noon.

Hmm..
Today you will come to Penang for college research,rite ?
But,I think i will not giving a chance to meet with you.
As if u said before,
You're not coming for holidays.
I understand.
Sometimes,things cant happen as we wish.
Maybe we need some times to analysis that we are suitable to be together.
I knew that you need my help so much.
Unfortunately,I cant give any helps.
I have already tried to talk to my that.
After the meeting,the result was negative.
Cause it does'nt have any result for the promote.
And the economy was badly stop my parent's business.
I was willing to help.
As if it was a donation,and the amount was not fix with that digit.
Maybe i can give a hand.
Cause i really really know u need my helps and i wish to help u so.

Every morning,
I was looking at my phone.
But,there was nothing change.
Its still blank.
I just wish that one day you will call me back.
Maybe it will be impossible.
But i wish its happen.
Quite a moment we dint talk on phone and its does make my life change lots.
Sometimes im wondering,
What kind of situation we was in.
Do our Love change to be a stranger ?
And we have already make it apart ?
Does it give a chance to fix back ?
How much times do we need to Fix it ?
Am i suitable be YOUR man ?

Today , the strong haze still covered the sky .
After finish work , i have my walk to grandmom house .
It was a long way ,
But my mind was not giving a chance to stop thinking .
Actually im happy to walk back home.
Along the road , i have seen different kind of people .
Races , skin colors , faces , emotions and others .
I found that it was fun .
After speeding with a car ,
Its getting less chance to do so .
If we slow down our step by walking on a street .
You can found that maybe you have miss out lots of special things .

I think i should stop here.
I will give my blog update next time .


** S **
I knew myself was not a Good BF as well.
But i really hope i dint make u regret to be with.
And im apologize for everythings that i give which was not enough.
Maybe i was not born to be in love.
If there was a chance.
I will make it right.


I Love you
That's from my truth heart.

期待后的失望

爱情；
到底是什么东西？
爱与喜欢之间，
又会隔着多远的距离呢？
在热恋后的自己，
是否可以接受失去她的日子呢？
很多时候，
开导别人时总是那么的简单。
事情发生在自己身上后才懂，
原来放弃感情是多少需要比做任何事情更多的勇气。
最重要的还是别做让自己后悔的选择。
每各人都会经过很多次的恋情吧？
受伤害，
往往都会发生的事情吧！

我到现在还搞不懂自己为何会被放弃。
究竟，身为男友的我犯了什么错。
你对我说你很累，
不如我们分手一断时间。
而我问你，
你还爱我吗？
你回答我说，我爱你，可是你很烦。
搞得我很怕你，甚至觉得自己很没有自由。
这样的回答其实也见怪不怪了。
对我来说：每次你都是答非所问。
很气人～
做东西没手尾，出门都不会告诉我一声。
永远都要让人担心。
可是，你却似乎不会去在乎。
反而会骂回我。

19。6。09
你朋友讯息我说：
Stef现在的情况很糟。
如果你是她男友，做些东西。
不要只会说你有多爱她可是又帮不了她。
如果你是我男友，我肯定很后悔。

恩。。读过这讯息后，我只僵在哪。
那天，我很忙。理发院很多顾客，吃饭都两点多才进行。
都饿到要死了，又读到酱的讯息真是气到。
过后我打回电话给她。
可是她都不敢接，让我觉得她非常的窝囊废。
书读那么多，讲话都乱来。
我酱爱她，她有事我会不知道吗！
只是，她根本都不会跟我讨论。
只觉得自己绝对是有能力乔定它的。
所以，一直以来。我会觉得做为她的男人都多余的。
可是，我又会有很多说不出爱她的感觉。

最痛心的是她一直都不懂，
是我表达方式有问题？
还是，她对我的态度有问题？
神啊！！为什么会酱～
相爱的人都永远得不到向往的爱吗？

还有一个傻妞啊！
昨晚，好像跟我的车门上世有仇酱。
关门都酱大力，太便宜了喔！！
知道我在说的是谁啦！！8婆～哈哈哈。。
你啊。。都一年了。。是该忘掉的时候了。。
或许，他已不是一年前你爱的哪个了。
别在傻傻的让自己再受伤。。

I Love You.
U are My Everythings.
0104*

♥ Stefenie.

5th May . feeling bad :-(

好久都没上来给贴了。
真的好久。。。小数起来都靠近一年了。。。
最近的生活起伏都蛮大的。
家庭，事业，爱情，金钱，友情等等。

先谈谈家庭吧！
最近的我变了蛮多，以前的我最讨厌的就是烟味了。
可是，我却演变成烟枪了。
如你问我为什么。。。我真的回答不出来。
想过戒掉，可是总是会给自己一个理由抽起来。
很犹豫，究竟是自己改不了还是不想改。
说着说着，又想来一口。
对于我家人，我可能已是个绝望的小孩了。
事业有成还不用紧，目前则是双失。
本说好要往吉隆坡发展的，却某些因素而打道回府。
我是很反对酱的结果，可是为了减轻家人的担忧所以不去了。

事业：－
也没什么好说。。。
总是找不到来回去向，达不到我苛求的。
是不够努力，还是根本没努力过！
或许两者皆支吧！

爱情：－
叶嘉慧，我是真的很爱你。
可是，你一次一次的伤害。。。我根本不明白我该不该继续。。
今天，是我们在一起的第四个月多两天。
而你，这是你第二次对我的欺骗。
昨晚，你说会谁随你爸去办进学手续，弄PBB的东西及把SIMCARD弄回来。
而现在，你目前身在何处我都不知道。
你爸说，你一早就和你朋友出外了。
回不回家都不知道！
手提电话也留在家！
我真的很怀疑，你是特地的？还是无意！
第一次，你说太冲忙而忘了。
今次呢？
我不想听酱的解释。。我觉得太不真实了。
我真的很紧张，每隔半小时就打三通电话。
希望你会看到，可是，一次又一次的。。得来却是失望。。
从我们开始到现在，我对你的信任。。依然是（零）。。
你知道吗！那给我来说是多痛心的一件事！
我根本得不到一点安全感。
一点都没有！！
甚至，我也怀疑你对我的爱。。是真的吗？

金钱，友情：－
＜＜下次续＞＞

写给你的。。很想你 :<

最近。。逃避我吗？
你叫我等你电话。。
我就说。。好吧。。
怎知道。。一等就等了4个小时。。
你没有回应。。
最后。。不能忍了。。
给你发讯息。。
却pending着。。
为何你的inbox永远都酱满？
很想你。。
当我想只对你一个人好的时候。。
你就像对我冷淡了。。
心情又有点低落回了。。
你在意我的感受吗？
为何现在没天一放学回家。。
你就跟我说你没空。。
学校没空。。
回家后也不能多陪我一下吗？
好想你！好想你！
你懂吗？ ：（
是不是我以被丢进冷宫了？
没用了？
还是你有男友了？
距离。。真是个问题吗？

没有你的星期五

这星期五。。在也没有你的身影了。。
只能靠心来想象了。。
今天，她为我按摩脸。。
一开始，躺下就很习惯性的。。
嗵一声就躺在适当的位置。。
你懂我意识吧？
就酱。。她帮我按摩了一阵子。。
但。。闭上眼睛享受时脑海却浮现你的影像。。
很想跳起来抱着你。。但。。眼睛一开。。却。。
那时眼眶真的积了蛮多泪的。。
但，我把它给吞下。。

我并不是不想珍惜她。。
而是。。不知是不是我们彼此没有了那温度。。
互相无法信任及相爱了。。
我该问她我们是不是不该在再一起了吗？

其实。。我和她都吵了快一整天。。
感觉。。就相仇人。。

之后。。我们去皇后湾看戏。。
两人走路都有点莫名的距离。。

恩。。戏后。。
我们到外面坐着等我父亲来载我们去吃晚餐。。
闲着没事做。。我教她该如何按摩。。
我从你哪学来的。。
就帮她按手。。因为她上次插针孔到现在还痛。。
按着按着。。
想起我也帮过你按。。
但，那时我没做好。。
就酱弄弄而已。。
可是。。我真的很想念那天的时间。。
很想XX。。

：（

Mariah Carey - Bye Bye

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Ya best friend ya baby
Ya man or ya lady
Put ya hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas daddys sisters brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift ya head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world
To see your face (bye)
And be right here next to you (bye)
But it's like you're gone too soon (bye)
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye

And you never got a chance
To see how good I done
And you never got to see me
Back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could spend
The holidays together

I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world
To see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Ya best friend ya baby
Ya man or ya lady
Put ya hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas daddys sisters brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift ya head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world
To see your face (bye)
And be right here next to you (bye)
But it's like you're gone too soon (bye)
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye